There's no Place Like Home...

So, the mad chaos of Mission Week and Spring Break trips has taken over. I am looking back now to reflect and post this entry for you viewing pleasure. I have calmed down, but still am longing to see my family, especially after this past week (read the next entry for more details.)

All the initiative evangelism has done my head in! I hit a brick wall. I have reached a point of homesickness, culture shock, ministry burn out, and all other events that can drain my soul. I'm exhausted! For the first time, I want to go home. Nothing else - just home. I have even faced a sleepless night of waking up at 3am to call my dad for a piece of home. I cried. I want so badly to see those I love the most. I want to be a part of their lives. I want to love them and walk beside them. How it kills me that my sister is carrying my niece and I will never know her as we are awaiting her arrival. My sister and I have grown so close this past year and she has become one of my dearest friends. How I wish I could be there with her to serve her, love her, care for her, and help her. Simply put, I want to be there as she embraces the biggest change in her life yet. She's becoming a mother - something we never knew if it would happen. I am gaining a niece, my first. I've decided throughout this, to not join staff this summer. I'm not sure if I ever will, but I know I won't this summer. I want to go home and enjoy it without being rushed around and burdened with jumping through hoops and scrambling from one thing to the next. I think if I were joining staff, it would be this summer. Mainly, I think this is the prime time to do it for me, but not really going to be a place for my to do it later. If there is, I'll go from there. Meanwhile, I'm excited to go home. Although I have experienced a family life here that I never knew, there is a family I long to return to. One that is mine and I am grateful for. One I miss. One I love.

3 weeks and 5 girls

So, we had a little chat about these three chaotic weeks were in the midst of. We pretty much decided that it would be easy to agree we would all cry by the end. I think I was the first one to break. Let me take you on an adventure:

Last week was Mission Week for the students here in Liverpool. They their time and investments into sharing the Gospel with classmates, housemates, strangers, etc. Agape` was invited as Christian Union Guests. This pretty much means we're serving them in any and every way possible. A great time, but the next 2 weeks will look pretty similar - easy to count on 10 hours with students/day plus an administrative and planning to take care of. Draining - yes. Productive - yes. Fruitful - yes. Tiring - YES!

Highlight: Helen and I went out together sharing on Wednesday. Divine appointment! We tried to talk with a few different groups of people, but no one seemed interested in chatting much about God. Not exactly what I needed considering I've already been feeling pretty discouraged. Somehow, we found ourselves talking to a girl called Kate. She mentioned that she used to not believe in God, but her boyfriend is a Christian so now she believes and reads the Bible. We talked to her a little about Jesus, but she didn't fully know why He came to earth and what His purpose was. Helen went through the Gospel and explained Jesus as the substitution for the penalty for our sins. She was excited to hear about receieving a gift of grace from God! She acknowledged an interest in making a decision to accept Christ as her Lord and Savior and prayed right in front of Helen and I! It was so encouraging for both of us to witness and be a part of. A few hours later, we were welcoming even another sister into the kingdom of God!

So, the week was hectic, but we saw God moving in big ways. As the week drew to a close, we were preparing for this week as students from Bowling Green are coming to join us for a week of ministry. Where does this all come from? Oh yea, I'm supposed to be working on my 36 page staff application as well.

So, that brings me to today. More chaos as details fall apart in my hand. Have I ever mentioned I like being in control? So, a little breakdown as I'm trying to finalize some things for tomorrow. Persevere and find some time to tackle the best of an application.

Oh yes, SIN! I mean isn't it fun to reflect on all the past sin and times you've messed up in your life? Don't you love to sit back and think, "I'm such pond scum!" Yea.......I'd say not. So, as I get all this junk brought back up in my life, I have to just dwell onto God's promises. I try to write an email, but realize I'm just a human. I get a little choked up, and decide to stop to retreat. Oh yes, the tears come and so does the Lord. I spend a good half hour on my face before the Lord embracing the grace He so abundantly lavishes upon us. Feeling much better now, but hate that sin comes up over and over and over and over and over and over and over...

So, let me tell you another cool part about this story (this is not sarcastic, this is whole hearted.) I don't think my mind has always worked in this way. Actually, I know it hasn't. You see, I like to process things out loud. I go to those closest to me to get their sympathy. I cry, vent, get it all out and just keep going. I don't go before the Lord to recognize Him in it. But, something has been changing ALOT over the past month. Oh yes, I think that cool kat, Mike, has a bunch to do with it. He actually has really helped me see what it looks like to draw closer to the Lord and to dwell in Him throughout it all. Yea, I like that guy. Good thing I get to see him in less than 2 weeks! AWESOME!

So, I have now included some pictures for your enjoyment. These are from Spain and the most relaxing (and unbelievable) week of my year. Careful, these are rare exclusive photos that will be on our new album cover.

Liverpool STINT team - we're HOT! Beach of Nerja, Spain.